You already know what it is. This is a never-ending rollercoaster of pretending you are not three mental breakdowns away from googling, “how to make it to a remote island with just a hammock and a coconut. 🌴🥥”.
Welcome to the most elite club of pretending to have it all together, where you are constantly using phrases like, “I’m super busy” while scrolling through Instagram Reels at 3 AM. Actually, you are doomscrolling it in your real life. Let me tell you some amazing examples of,
‘what it should be’ -vs- ‘What it is?’
1. The Morning Routine of Champions
Are you waking up at 7 AM? Laughable.
In this case, the real game changer is setting an alarm for 7 AM, snoozing it five times, then pretending you got up at 8 AM like it was your plan overall.
You have mastered the art of “running late, but looking cute”. 😆
Because nothing says Professional like spilling coffee on your shirt right before your Zoom meeting.
2. The Grocery Store Escape
You went in for breads, but somehow left with 5 bags of chips, snacks, an avocado, and an impulse purchase of a plant you will forget to water. This is your life now.
Grecery lists are a scam. Your cart is an emotional support system for when you’re trying to figure out if you’re hungry or just really stressed out.
3. The Social Media Lie
Your Instagram story says you are the brunch with your close friends, but you are actually sitting alone in a coffee shop, and thinking about your life choices, right?
But hey, those selfies in front of fancy food make you look like a world traveler, right?
Nobody needs to know your biggest adventure last week was finding your keys under the couch.
4. The “I’ll Just Do One Thing” Trap
You tell yourself that you will only check one email, just one!
3 hours later,
You have watched an entire season of a show you didn’t even know existed, and you have somehow learned more about a random Reddit conspiracy theory than you did about your actual work.
In your head, you are still “getting stuff done”, because you replied to one email with a smiley face emoji.
Productivity level : 0
Procrastination level: Expert
5. 10 Minutes workout = 3 Minutes workout in Real life
When you decided to do that new fitness routine you saw on Instagram or Facebook. It promises to make you “Sweat in 10 minutes” and feel amazing.
Two minutes in, you realize it is not the workout that is making you sweat — it is the existential dread of realizing your “10 mins workout” is actually just you standing in one place and wondering why you agreed to this in the first place.
Your legs are sore, but only because you have been staring at the TV in deep contemplation.
6. The Home Improvement Disaster
You bought a small, simple home decor item online from Amazon or IKEA.
The description said, “easy assembly in under 10 minutes” — but it’s for experts, not for everybody.
Six hours later,
You have built a fortress of IKEA boxes. Your self-esteem is in shambles, and you are Googling, “How to fix a broken shelf without calling my parents.”
Bonus point if you have made it this far without crying out of frustration.
7. The “Just One More Episode” Lie
You said you would watch one episode only, but now it’s 3 AM 🕒 and you have seen the entire season.
And somehow, you are still on the couch in a food coma, debating whether your ‘sleepy time’ self will ever forgive you!
This binge-watching session might not be your best decision, but your current state of denial means it never happened.
And really, who needs sleep when there is a storyline to finish?
Wrapping Up…
You may not have it together, but no one else does either. So go ahead, laugh loudly, enjoy life. At least you look like you are winning.
© 2025, Rakshit Shah. All rights reserved.
English (US) · 