I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday comic above is mine, as are all of the non-cartoon comments below.
Since January 2018, the Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. For more fun, check out Wayno’s weekly blog post.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
Bienvenue, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for giving us a few of your moments.
I’m given to sharing too much, so I’ll tell you I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. I visited my fading parents in their “assisted living center”—that second word doesn’t seem entirely appropriate—and it’s always a depressing experience. My mother doesn’t know where she is or what’s happening and just wants to “go home,” while my father says he wishes he believed in suicide, but insists on letting God decide when it is his time.
Objectively, there’s no denying that it’s pharmacology that is keeping both of them alive. If they had truly let “God decide,” they’d both have been on their way over the rainbow bridge some time ago.
Speaking of gods, after I got home last Monday, I realized I’d picked up a god-foresaken virus from some random riffraff during my travels. It’s tormented me for nearly a week now and is making me wish I knew an exorcist.
The visit with my parents, combined with the ongoing festival of misery I smuggled back home with me, has strengthened my resolve not to last longer than need be. If I get close to the end and I’m beginning to suffer as my parents are, I hope I have the sense and courage to say goodbye to my loved ones and evacuate this version of me.
Sorry for the downbeat opening. I warned you that I’m an over-sharer.
Now to the funnies: The title panel above is one of my personal favorites. It was originally a weekday panel cartoon that I later transformed into a title panel for the Sunday comics. To me, it represents the tendency some of us have to “knock ourselves out” with introspection and to create meaningful art. It’s also just funny in a surreal way.
It’s the perfect image for this week’s Sunday panel about Rodin’s The Thinker, as he thinks about his sculpture and wonders if it is finished. The reason for the color of the statue is that, though the final versions of this famous sculpture are bronze, it began as clay and was then cast in the molten alloy.
(To those of you who already knew that, I apologize for the mansplaining.)
Statues from ancient Greece, Rome, and Michelangelo’s amazing work were sculpted in marble, which is a faaaar more difficult undertaking, and much less forgiving. That’s not to say Rodin was not a genius brimming with talent. He was.
Now let’s enjoy the brimming chuckles of my comics partner, Wayno’s, Bizarro gags from the week…
Dopey and Goofy were only their nicknames. Their given names were Flatulence and Turdmuzzle.
I don’t even want to think about how many dogs it took to make that wiener.
Sadly, only two of the original members of The Beatless are still alive: Pawn MacArfry & Dingo Sklar.
I think all professions get idiotic questions like these as a result of the high incidence of stupidity among humans. Wayno and I, however, are fortunate to have a high percentage of intelligent readers.
May I suggest a large portfolio of expensive Non-Fungible Tokens?
This cartoon got a few questions from readers who are not Grammar Police, as I’m ashamed to admit I tend to be. I’m not sure about other English-speaking countries, but Americans tend to use “less'“ when they mean “fewer.”
For the non-grammar-obsessed among our readers, though this sign reflects the common phrasing used by stores, “less” is the wrong word in this context. The difference is that "less" is used for uncountable bulk or abstract measure (e.g., less water, less food), whereas "fewer" is used for countable, individual objects (e.g., fewer drops, fewer items).
Sorry.
That’s the whole enchilada for this week, Jazz Pickles. I hope you are not fewer amused for having visited. If you enjoy that we offer these bits of scribbles and wisdom for free, please consider helping us keep it that way via the links below. We’ll be fewer unhappy if you do.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week creative-writing subscription service.
Bizarro TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR …One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY
Watch my pitch video and become a supporter of Peyote Cowboy here.
Super fun Bizarro swag from ComicsKingdom, including our 2026 Bizarro wall calendar.
English (US) · 