Owner: “Remarkable heir, id’nit, squire? Lovely plumage!”
Mr. Praline: “Look, I took the liberty of examining that heir when I got him home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that he had been NAILED there.”
(pause)
Owner: “Well, o’course he was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that heir down, he would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ’em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!”
Mr. Praline: “‘VOOM’?!? Mate, this heir wouldn’t ‘voom’ if you put four million volts through him! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!”
Owner: “No no! ‘E’s pining!”
Mr. Praline: “‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This heir is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-HEIR!!”
(Apologies to the original scriptwriters.)
English (US) · 